What the hell did I just do...

So I knew today would come where I'd second guess myself about my surgery. Well today was the day. I bawled. All I want is a cheeseburger. I want a pizza too. I knew this would be hard but I didn't know this uphill battle would be covered in all the food I want. I know I know need it but I want it. You always want things you don't need. I'm really thankful for all my friends and family. They have been so supportive. I seriously have the best family and friends. They are always there for me.  They always give me the best advice and they are usually right about everything.  I know that I'm going to be happy with my new journey with my new body.  Well I'm gonna go drink some more of this chocolate frosty I made with protein powder I made it was actually pretty good.

You win. Actually you lose. I win.

I'm done. I'm single again. I'm starting my life over brand new. I'm not looking back. I do love Dan but it's to much. My heart isn't broke and I'll move on just fine. I have plenty of support from my family and friends. I don't need a man to be happy like you.  I feel better then ever. My surgery went perfect. I'm on full liquids right now. I made some wonderful potato soup with sour cream and cheese blended in my new magic bullet. It tasted wonderful. I added unflavored protein powder and been having spoonfuls every couple hours. It's very creamy. Today the first day I haven't felt sick to my stomach. I need to walk more but I get so exhausted even showering. Well back to being 23 & beautiful. <3 love my life.

SURGERYYYYYYYYYYYYY!! part 2

They moved my surgery date today. Super nervous. ekk. <3 Things are finally coming together.

Moving blogs

I will not be posting anything about my life anymore on the blog. I never do anything right. I wish I could block people who can't see this. If anyone knows a way please tell me so certain people can't intrude in my life. Please send me your email address if you want access to my blog. Never mind... this blog will not only have my weight loss journey if you want to know about my actually life then please feel free to ask me for my new blog that will only have life blogs in it.

SURGERYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!

I'm so excited. I went to my pre-op appt. I did all my blood work and pee'd in a cup to make sure I'm not pregnant. (funny story about being pregnant, I'll have to tell you all another time when it's right.) I'm surgery is tentatively next THURSDAY!!!! Not sure if I'll stay at my house to recover or stay at my mom's or grandmother's. Guess we will have to see. Things have been really rough lately but I have faith that things will turn around. I mean I'm YOUNG, BEAUTIFUL and well not that I'm bragging but I ROCK in the sex department. I can't wait to lose the weight so I can do more fun things with all my friends, family & amazing boyfriend. I know nothing and nobody can get in my way of my happiness. It's something I recently just learned & I'm glad I did.

Also I had a amazing time on my cruise and came home to my roommate and boyfriend surprise. They made me a cake and had all these ballons. It was very sweet. I'll post more about cruise another day. I gotta go to work and make some money. <3  

Through a Rapist's Eyes

Sunday, August 7, 2011

Through a Rapist's Eyes

I found this on another blog, and thought I'd pass it along to you.  Maybe repost it on your blog or Facebook - help another girl out.

Through a Rapist's Eyes (No Joke) 
A group of rapists and date rapists in prison were interviewed on what they look for in a potential victim and here are some interesting facts:
1) The first thing men look for in a potential victim is hairstyle. They are most likely to go after a woman with a ponytail or other hairstyle that can easily be grabbed. They are also likely to go after a woman with long hair.Women with short hair are not common targets.
2) The second thing men look for is clothing. They will look for women who's clothing is easy to remove quickly. Many of them carry scissors around to cut clothing.
3) They also look for women on their mobile phone, searching through their purse or doing other activities while walking, because they are off guard and can be easily overpowered.
4) The time of day men are most likely to attack and rape woman is in the early morning, between 5 and 8:30 a.m.
5) The thing about these men is that they are looking to grab a woman and quickly move her to a second location, where they don't have to worry about getting caught
6) Only 2% said they carried weapons because rape carries a 3 - 5 year sentence but rape with a weapon is 15 - 20 years.
7) If you put up any kind of a fight at all, they get discouraged because it only takes a minute or two for them to realize that going after you isn't worth it because it will be time-consuming.
8) These men said they would not pick on women who have umbrellas, or other similar objects that can be used from a distance, in their hands. Keys are not a deterrent because you have to get really close to the attacker to use them as a weapon. So, the idea is to convince these guys you're not worth it.
9) Several defense mechanisms he taught us are: If someone is following behind you on a street or in a garage or with you in a lift or stairwell, look them in the face and ask them a question, like what time is it, or make general small talk, "I can't believe it is so old out here, we're in for a bad winter". Now you've seen their face and could identify them in a line-up, you lose appeal as a target.
10) If someone is coming toward you, hold out your hands in front of you and yell "Stop" or "Stay back!" Most of the rapists talked to said they'd leave a woman alone if she yelled or showed that she would not be afraid to fight back. Again, they are looking for an EASY targe

Having a horrible day.

I'm having a really bad day. I just want one thing and right now I can't have it. It sucks. Maybe one day but I doubt it.