Wednesday, July 27, 2011

My body rejecting my pills.

So I'm getting ready for bed and I take my pills and not more then a couple min after I take them I throw up. It's not how I expected to end my night by steam cleaning my dinning room floor at 1:45 am. I'm glad I didn't wake up P. He get's kinda cranky when I wake him up in the middle of the night. B just looked at me funny and was like "Why are you steam cleaning at this hour?" I guess I'm a quite vomiter. Anyways I got back to work from being off work for a while although still experiencing all the symptoms for being off work so not sure how well I'm going to work but it's okay because I'm going on a CRUISE for a week on Thursday. I'm so excited. It's just gonna be my Mom, Grandma & Grandpa. The limited time I get with my Grandma means the world to me, not knowing how long I have with her scares me a lot. Anyways B is making funny of me because I'm blogging about throwing up. LOL She's so crazy. I'm so glad she moved in. Well not sure if I will blog during the next week but who knows.

P.S. BEVERYJEALOUS my life is great. Sorry yours sucks but there isnt a way you can bring down mine <3 for all you haters.

Thursday, July 21, 2011

Never thought I'd say it but I believe in love again!!!

I have had my heart broken a million and four times. I didn't think love really existed. I thought all men want is pussy until him. He's special. He's not my type. He found me. He likes that I'm me and nothing else. We both have past we aren't proud of but the thing that makes him different is he is seeking help to change things in his life. He wants a better happier life then what he lives now. I'm feel very lucky he picked me to show his change too. He didn't change for me. He changed for himself. I love that he's smart and teaches me things. I love the way he makes me feel and the way he looks at me. He support my choice in WLS.  He makes me very excited to see what the future holds with him. Tuesday we had a breakfast date at Corner Cafe then did some window shopping at Best Buy then came back to my place and hung out. Wednesday he took me to see Harry Potter which was wonderful. I think tomorrow I will take him lunch at work. Back in February when he was out of work he'd bring me lunch so since I'm currently out of work I'll return the favor. I wish everyone could fell as amazing as I do. My goal is to treat him like noone else has before I mean that's what you do for someone you love right?

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Monday, July 11, 2011

Home Sweet Hell!!!

<3 Hello loves, I'm back. I'm sorry I haven't written in a while but let me tell ya. It's been a crazy mess. So since I started writing which has been about 6 months. I'm done with the stupid supervised diet for my LapBand. I submitted my paperwork Friday so I hope I hear something soon. I'm super stoked. The life I'm going to have is amazing.

My house that I bought in May seems to be living HELL!!! If it's not one thing it another. I feel like I'm constantly buying things for it. Also the roommate situation has gotten crazy. The man I'm in love with D moved in & moved out & possibly might move back in. We need to learn how to communicate better if we want this relationship to seriously work.  My other roommate P well I've been having some problems with him. I let him pay rent & other bills late to me and well he's constantly borrowing money. I'm not sure if because I'm charging him to much to rent or because he just that bad with money. I understand he's been having health issues and that's one of the reasons I've let him pay rent late is because I know he's been in the hospital. I just hope money isn't the reason I have to kick him out. His cats don't mix well with my cats so I had to keep them locked up in his room & his cats have claws and have tore my carpet up. BRAND NEW FUCKING CARPET. Makes me so mad!!!! I did buy some plastic to go by the door so they can't ruin it any more so far so good. I also have my friend B living with me currently. She helping around the house and with the food. She just had a baby and gave her son up for adoption & her family situation isn't the best. I like her being here. I hope she stay a while. I also might be having C & her kids staying with me for a while if her house sales and her husband goes for a deployment while her new house is being built. I like having people around. I just don't like the messes or the loud noise.

My grandmother cancer is pretty bad. It's a very very very rare cancer. The doctors keep saying they've never seen anything like it. They were going to remove part of her lung but the cancer spread to her lymphnoids. So they started her on chemo to see if they could shrink it & then remove the lung but I don't see that happening how far a long the cancer is with that note we are going on a Cruise which is on her bucket list. I'm very excited but not because I'm 320lbs I'm going to look like a beach whale.  Although I will enjoy every moment of it because these special times might be the last.

I started a new position at work. It's a sales position, last month I was doing great this month I'm kinda off. I hope it doesn't hurt me to much though.

I also feel like I never see my friends. I'm sure it's partly my fault. Actually I'm sure it's all my fault. I just don't like going out. All the pictures I'm the fat one. I wanna be skinny again, the pretty one, the fun one but I don't like getting drunk and partying. I feel like we are adults. I own my own home, they have kids like shouldn't we be having adult fun like playing games at someone house with like Wine and Cheese. I dunno, I just don't have the same kind of fun my friends do...  Anyway I better get to bed. Hope all is well in blogland. <3