Hello all 11 people who follow my blog. I'm sorry I haven't been around as much as everyone would have liked I've been very busy work 60+ hours a week & with buying new house my life is crazy. It's been so crazy one of my dearest closest friends who I tell everything to feels like I have taken her for granted. I absolutly love her. She gets me or at least I thought she did. I was actually very upset when she told me that she felt that way because I never knew I was making her feel that way & she's not one to not say something about it. I actually cried which doesnt happen very often anymore but she right. I'm not the a very good friend sometimes. When I get caught up in my life I completely forget about that theres a world around me. It's hard though. She feels like I ignore her and that I only talk to her when I need something. I don't though. I have found out that facebook is evil in delivering messages. I use facebook mobile a lot and I guess when some one instant messages me I don't receive it on my phone or it says I'm online when I'm not. Yes I could text her but sometimes I feel like I'm a outsider in her life. I don't think that she sees or understands that. It one of the reason that I don't always text her first or call her first because I know she busy. I know she in a completely different part of her life then me. She's a SAHM with a Military husband who also is in school. I sometimes feel like since we are in different places I don't want to annoy her of my single no kid no school drama. It's hard because as much as I love being friends with her it's hard because I can't relate to a lot of things. I don't understand marriage heck I can't even find a decent bf at the moment. I don't have any cute stories about what my kids done in the past week. I mean don't get me wrong I love her kids and I love hearing what they've accomplished.. I don't have anything to compare. Some of her other friend have children or husbands but I have neither. I don't feel like I belong sometimes. But when she is free from the family life when we do hang out it's like nothing changed which is what I love about our friendship when we do get time to spend together it's like we havent even been apart. I just hope that she does forgive me sooner then later.. because it's hard not talking to her. I hope she understand a little bit more reason why I don't talk to her every single day it's not that I don't want too it's just I feel like i'd annoy her about stuff. I mean I constantly think of her or when something reminds me of her I always tell her. She has been there for me a lot and I feel bad that if she needed me for something I'd hopoe she know I'd stop everything and be there because I do cherish her friendship a lot. So I hope that when she does decied she wants to be friends with me again I will show her I'm not as shitty as friend as she thinks.
Now onto the HOUSE, so the prev house I told everyone about fell through which made me very upset and I was about to give up on the house search until my lender told me about the KC DREAM PROGRAM which allowed to look at more expensive houses. Basically the program helps low income family or in my case single person buy their first home. They give you a forgivable loan up to $20k for your down payment. It's amazing. So far everything is going smoothly. My lender always informs me on any change and answers all my questions. I do have a contract on the house. I did the inspection which found nothing wrong with the house. It's move in ready and they closing date should be around may 20th or sooner.. I'm so excited.
The lapband diet thing is a joke but I'm doing it. I have 3 more months until I hopefully get approved. I can't wait. I'm ready to be healthy again.
Well until next time. <3 all of you.